Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
