one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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