I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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