there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
