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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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