mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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