Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
