hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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