his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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