I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
