Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
