I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
