So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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