Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
