Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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