just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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