he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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