is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
