i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
