i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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