I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
