Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
