Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
