I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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