just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
