Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I smell stomach acid.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
