umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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