Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
