Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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