I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
