She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
even my farts smell like vagina
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
