Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
