Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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