I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
this boner is exhausting
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
