direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
