**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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