ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
