Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
