just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
