I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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