he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
