Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
