Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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