its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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