He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
