Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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