I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
