Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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