I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
