p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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