I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
